“Faithless Me”

This song is about the deficit of trust I tend to have in God when I am in a place of uncertainty. It’s a plea to be saved, a recognition of my lack of faith, my distrust in God’s guiding hand, my difficulty believing he hears me and answers prayer. I was asked to do special music at Antioch this past Sunday, and this is the song I wrote this summer and sung there.

How could blood make healed the soul
That asks for joy while holding pain,
Who’s still broken instead of whole,
Who asks for sun but loves the rain?

While I’m still distrusting You,
You set my feet upon the waves.
You bid me come, You bid me move,
You have me where I’m most afraid.

Father, save Your sinking son,
From the raging winds and waving seas,
Spirit, hold me up above,
Cause the water is rising about my knees,
I’m swallowing water, I feel I can’t breathe,
Oh how He loves me and oh, how I disbelieve!
Faithless me.

Swaying with the fickle tide,
The current’s pulling me to sea.
Should I just do what feels right,
Or should I wait for You to speak?

Salvage my untrusting heart,
Cause I don’t know just what I need.
I hurt more now than at the start.
Oh God, my fear runs deep in me.

Now let me be critical of myself. I always hate the way my voice sounds when it’s recorded. Always. I don’t think I’ve ever recorded something and liked the way it sounded. I was also a little nervous, thus the shakiness, and I forgot a word towards the end of the song. And the guitar buzzes through the amp with too much bass from the lower E string.

With that said, here’s the link to the live video:

http://vimeo.com/13816361